Slow Down to Speed Up

Heeellllllooooooooooo (imagine me saying this to you really slowly -- drawing out each part of the word)! 

Hopefully you're wearing a bit of a smile now?! 

If you're not, try one on real quick, it looks really good on you and actually enhances your mood. 🙂

I'm about to say something REVOLUTIONARY; are you ready? 

Slowing down can help you speed up!  

Read that again. 

I spoke with three clients last week who are going a mile a minute with no breaks -- rushing like mad women in the morning, booking themselves back to back, loading up on coffee, having midday heart palpitations, then struggling to decompress at night. Sound familiar? 

Hell, I find myself in that hamster wheel of hustle from time to time too. 

Are we getting a lot done when we move like this? Maybe. -_-

What we're also doing is contributing to increased levels of stress, suppressed immunity, a wired nervous system that stays in a perpetual state of fight or flight, shittier moods, denser feeling emotions...need I go on? 

If you're nodding your head because you're willingly admitting that this sounds a lot like you, or if you're silently reading this knowing that this is you, but you don't want to admit it, rest assured. I have an easy, yet powerful solution to start turning the tides.   

It's called SLOWING THE F*CK DOWN! Here's how you do it: 

  1. Set your alarm clock for 10-15 minutes earlier in the morning so you can leisurely wake up (note: DON'T snooze through this)

  2. Use this 10-15 minutes to lubricate your joints, i.e. do some neck rolls, spinal twists, hip circles, etc. This starts to awaken the body naturally

  3. Set an intention for your day -- How do you want to show up today? What would you like to accomplish? How would you like to feel?

  4. Take intermittent breaks for water (lots of it), a walk, a quick stretch, a few deep breaths

  5. End your day with gratitudes -- What are you grateful for?

In total, these five steps take no more than 20-30 minutes of your day. Think of 30 minutes less of mindlessly scrolling on social media or stressing out about things that are completely out of your control in that moment. Good substitute right? 

BE RUTHLESS in this. I promise it will make all the difference; it has for me. 

I am now twice as productive as I was before, I waste less time, I'm happier, I'm less stressed, I'm more connected and present, I judge myself and others less, I serve more effectively...and so much more! 

You can have all of that for yourself too! 

Sending you SO MUCH LOVE

From Burnout To Bliss

I'm going on Facebook Live every day this week to share each of the 6 phases of a process I developed called The Bliss Method. I've used The Bliss Method with my clients as a simple and powerful way to go from Burnout to Bliss without compromising their success, their free time, and all the things they value most.

Each night after my live broadcast on Facebook, I'm going to send an email recap, like this one, with the main points from the video and the practices I discussed, so you can go from Burnout to Bliss now!

The Bliss Method Training
Part 1 of 6: Awareness and Acceptance

Do you have massive dreams for your future? Have you ever imagined a life where you get to have it all? Well, in order for you to get to the place you want to be, you've gotta first acknowledge and accept where you are (without judgement)! Creating a sense of awareness and acceptance is a mandatory part of creating possibilities for yourself and your life!

Main take aways:

  1. Creating awareness is a KEY component is allowing us to get to where we want to go - if we're not aware of where we are, relative to where we want to go, we can't get there

  2. Acceptance for where we are without judgement and shame catalyzes our ability to achieve intended outcomes

Practices we discussed that you can use NOW:

  1. Fears, Needs, Desires, Assumptions (journal it out)!

  2. Ho'oponpono practice (I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you)

  3. Ask: who am I without this shame and judgement? If this shame and judgement weren't here, what would I do and how would I act?

I'd love for you to share this with anyone in your life you think would benefit.

If you're ready to make a powerful shift in your life and unlock profound Bliss, I'm opening a few spots on my calendar this week for a one-on-one Bliss Breakthrough Call. On this call, I will personally help you gain clarity on what's keeping you stuck in burnout and formulate a step-by-step plan so you can experience your own Bliss Breakthrough.

Click here to schedule your Bliss Breakthrough Call right now!

I'm stepping into a larger-than-life version of myself

Wait, give me a second while I pick my face up off the floor...

The past two weeks have felt like a real-life version of the tilt-a-whirl ride at carnivals. The semi-reassuring part is that I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. However, that doesn't make the immense amounts of discomfort I've felt any less uncomfortable. What I've found some reprieve and groundedness in is shifting how I relate to discomfort, change, transition, growth, etc.

Let me share what's going on. I'm stepping into a larger-than-life version of myself and as such, am moving and shifting in my business. This is all very exciting AND uncomfortable. Here's what you're gonna see over the coming weeks and months:

  • A super awesome brand refresh, thanks to Branner Creative. I'm proud to say that I created my website and current branding and it's gotten me to where I am now. What's even cooler is that I'm ready to take things to the next level. Stay tuned for all the freshness!

  • A shift in how I'm sharing my work. Thanks to ground-breaking, consciousness-shifting, impact-making work with Ani Manian, I am getting to hone in on PLEASURE as the epicenter for the work I offer and as a possibility that's available to everyone! Come take a ride with me and I'll show you how. ❤️

Drum roll please! Here it is, folks:

The Pleasure Project!

The Pleasure Project is a movement whose intention is to shift the paradigm around sex and intimacy from one of fear, shame, and judgement to one of pleasure, play and self-expression.

Over the next few months, I'll be collecting and sharing stories of pleasure so that we can create a space for this kind of conversation, while still acknowledging that other kinds of sexual experiences exist. This story collection will culminate in a live event extravaganza at the end of October where we will celebrate pleasure! There will be speakers, experts, and thought leaders on sex and intimacy. We'll hear from folks on their stories of pleasure. We'll party, celebrate and so much more.

All of this will not only be the perfect 30th birthday gift to myself, it will also be a way to raise at least $5k for organizations like DecrimNY and Sex Workers Project, whose missions are to decriminalize and destigmatize sex work, provide vital support to those in this work, and to provide aid to those affected by human sex trafficking.

Here's my ask of you: I can't and don't want to do this all on my own. I have a huge vision for The Pleasure Project and that vision can grow even larger with the collaboration and partnership of others who are moved and inspired by this. If you or anyone you know would be excited to get involved, please contact me or connect me with interested parties!

I'm looking for the perfect venue (in NY), food and beverage sponsors, photographers/videographers, connections to media channels and influencers, and all awesome people willing to donate time and love to this cause!

Together, we can create a world full of pleasure, play, self-expression and so much more!

A substance-free psychedelic trip

Oh hey beautiful!

I don't know about you, but these summer vibes have me smiling from ear to ear!

The past week has been nothing short of the twilight zone. In fact, my life has felt like I've been hopping from one alternate dimension to the next; it's pretty groovy. I'm gonna tell you how you can create your own substance-free psychedelic trip. Ya ready?!

It all has to do with how we CHOOSE to relate to others. That's right, how we relate to and perceive others is our CHOICE.

Let's take one of the deepest, most complex dynamics: the parent-child relationship. In this case, I'm referring to the relationship between my mother and I.

Now, if any of you know my mom, then you know (or may perceive her to be) a real character, the life of the party, a "hoot and a half..." Yes, I view her this way too. I also view her as "my mother," which comes with all of it's own created meaning, like: the woman who knows how to push my buttons and whose buttons I know how to push, the woman that always asks questions about my financial status, the woman who loves and cares for me deeply, even if I choose to think otherwise, and on and on.

Take a moment to consider how you view your parents or someone with whom you have a close relationship. What things do you think you already know about how this person is?

I thought I knew a lot of things about how my mom "is." I'd make statements in my head like "Ugh. That's just the way she is," or "she always does that," or "I know she'll say this..."

While she may have confirmed my beliefs of her on some occasions, having such stuck beliefs about my mom wasn't allowing me to view her as someone other than "my mother," which is a character I cast for her with predetermined lines, characteristics, qualities, etc.

Who I wasn't seeing her as was a woman, with her own life: her own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and experiences.

It was a recent trip to Maine with mom and some awesome friends that opened up a whole new way of relating. It was on this trip that I got to take a step back from viewing my mother as my mother and seeing her as an individual with hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears, concerns - some separate from and some related to me.

In these moments, I realized that I get to CHOOSE how I view my mother, what I see in her, what kinds of things I listen for when she speaks, how I describe her, how I interact with her, and I perceive she feels about me.

That weekend, I chose to feel her deep, relentless, undying, love for me. It was in that choice that had me feeling connected to my mom in a way I'd never felt connected before.

I'm having emotional response as I type this now. What is this new place?! I'm still sitting in the same apartment, typing this email on the same laptop, looking the same as I did yesterday...yet, it also feels as if I've stepped into an entirely new world; that's the psychedelic nature of this.

I did nothing except choose to see to my mom in a different way. In doing so, I opened a new realm of possibility for how she and I relate to one another.

Is there someone in your life that you'd like to perceive differently, such that this new perception could lead to a deepening of intimacy, love, and connection?

Yeah. All the feels. Get in here and give me a (virtual) hug! ️

Playing a game when we don't know the rules: masculine & feminine energy

Have you ever stopped to think that you're playing a game you might not know the rules to? 

Relationship is the biggest game on the planet and most of us don't know the rules. We therefore don't know how to play successfully and with ease. 1

What do I mean by this? 

From whom did you learn "the rules" of relationship, that is, how to relate to yourself, others, and everything around you? Are your rules yours or were they passed down to you from someone or somewhere else? 

Most of us learned how to relate to others and the world from family, organized religion, society, etc. While we may have learned valuable things from each of these bodies, what most of us did not learn was the foundational concept of masculine and feminine energy. 

When I refer to masculine and feminine energy, I'm not referring to the genders of male and female, I'm referring to an expression of qualities. While men tend to express more masculine energy and women tend to express more feminine energy, we all possess and express both, with either energy being our leading energy. 

Pause. Take a moment to think about your qualities as I briefly describe some of the attributes of the masculine and feminine. (Note: this is only a partial list; I think you'll get the point). 

Masculine - Linear, direct/projective, focused, logical, assertive, discipline, courageous,

Feminine - Non-linear,  surrender/receptive, flowing, emotional/intuitive, nurturing, creative, unconditional love

Do the qualities in one of these columns sound more like you? Do you possess qualities in both columns? Does possessing qualities in both columns make you any more or less of the gender you identify with? 

The rules we've been taught about how men and women "should" be have us boxed in and confined to a set of gender norms that cease to acknowledge that we are all a mix of masculine and feminine energies. 

Understanding the nature of masculine and feminine energy and allowing space for both sides to exist can allow us to feel more authentic, self-expressed, and balanced. 

This week, I invite you to take a look at which qualities feel most natural for you. I also invite you to question what "natural" means to you. Does it mean "by default" or how you were conditioned/taught to be, or does it mean, what feels most nourishing and supportive to your well-being? 

More content to come. For now, take some tiny bites and digest with ease. 🙂 

"I can't even" (How to Communicate Capacity)

Looking back on the past few weeks, I've gotta admit, I've had more than my fair share of "I can't even" moments. 

What is an "I can't even" moment? 

According to our trusted friends at, it's the complete, sudden onset of the cessation of brain activity, brought under the presence of acute stress, which fully affects the person only a short time after it strikes them. Said person, under the duress of the symptoms, demonstrate their affliction by alerting to others that they "can't even," in reference to their inability to deal with the symptoms, or their inability to perform simple actions which have been made impossible by their afflictions.

Basically, it's a feeling of overwhelm, a lack of desire to deal with something, or a disbelief about something or someone to the extent that you "can't even" (deal with it). 

Mind you, I've also had many "I've totally got this" moments over the past few weeks as well. I, and many of us, seem to oscillate between these two momentary phenomena multiple times a day, while hitting every place in between too. 

So, what's one to do and say when one "can't even?"

In part 2 of the "A Series on Desire" workshop I led last week, this conversation came up. We explored how to communicate one's capacity to receive information. One participant, Chris, shared a verbal format that blew the minds of everyone in the room, myself included. Obviously, I took notes.

He shared that when he wants to communicate something major with his partner, he'll ask her if she's feeling resourced to receive such information. Similarly, when she's sharing something with him and he doesn't feel he has the capacity to engage in the conversation with presence, he may say something like: "I want to be present for this conversation and show up fully; I'm not feeling resourced at the moment; can we talk about this in an hour after I've had time to unwind?"

*Mind blown* It's so simple that we may wonder how such words escape us in the "I can't even" moments. What usually ends up happening in these moments is we become some variation of defensive, frustrated, non-communicative, etc. 

What I love about this format is that it has us:

  • Acknowledge the other person by stating our desire to be present and engaged with the other and what they want to share

  • Acknowledge our experience and/or lack of capacity to receive information/have a conversation in that moment

  • Agree on a new day/time to follow-up (so all parties can feel complete in the interaction)

These are super simple words that can have us showing up for ourselves and others and deepening intimacy through clear, honest communication. 

Making an unreasonable declaration

I wanna share a little about my weekend with you. You see, it wasn't your ordinary weekend...

I experienced a broad range of things that had me understand more about what it means to be human, how to function at a level that will have a greater impact in the world, what's been stopping me from having that impact already, and what to do about it. 

Over the course of the weekend, I found myself in full-on tears, in hysterical laughter, in pensive thought, in revelation, in celebration, in connection, in action, and so much more. 

You may be wondering what the hell I'm up to this time...

I'm nearly complete with my Landmark Advanced Course and it's rocking my world. Keep reading, it gets really juicy...

I'm gonna come straight out and say something that I've never declared before in such a bold way. Here's what I'm up to in my life:

I, Lee Noto, Am the possibility of sexual healing, sexual freedom, pleasure, passion, and play for the entire world...and that is who I Am!

Yes, you read that right. My intended reach is the entire freakin' planet. 

Sounds pretty grand, I know. That's exactly the point. 

You see, creating a vision so seemingly unreasonable will have me showing up as an entirely new person, someone I myself barely recognize. Someone that doesn't allow my excuses, fears, and "logical considerations" to get in the way.

If my intended reach were "a few people" or "whoever will listen" or "whoever shows up to my workshop," then the actions I'm willing to take are way different than if my intended reach is the entire world. And why shouldn't every person on this planet be who I'm aiming to serve? The point isn't whether or not I achieve this goal as much as what I'm willing to do if my intended outcome is to impact every single person. 

Do I have any idea about how I'm going to do this? Not entirely. Not even close. But, by sharing this possibility with you, I am now speaking into existence that which didn't exist as a reality for me (and the world) before. 

Let me ask you something...if you could create anything, anything at all, with no limits, what would you create? I invite you to go wild with this! What have you been dreaming of doing? What turns you on, lights you up, and sparks joy when imagine it? 

Simply imagining something as a possibility (independent of whether you "do" that thing or not), can have you taking action that's different from the action you'd normally take if you hadn't imagined that possibility in the first place.

This may feel a bit crazy, silly, or pointless but give it a try and see what comes up. I promise, you won't self-combust. 

Fears, Needs, Desires, Assumptions

If you were sitting where I'm sitting right now, you'd be in bed with me, looking out of a window at a luscious green tree against a clear blue sky filled with sunlight, listening to birds chirp, and feeling the heat of the rays spill in through the window and across the bed...I forget that I'm in Brooklyn sometimes. It's moments like this that have me feeling intimacy with myself, which serves how I show up to hold space around intimacy for others. 

As an intimacy coach, I get to talk to people all the time about their relationships (romantic and non), their sex lives (or lack thereof), what brings them pleasure, their fears, etc. 

What I've noticed is that all the people I've spoken with have a strong desire to get to the bottom what's "not working" in order to create workability in their relationships (to self and others), they just seem to get stuck somewhere.

Coincidentally (or not), the "getting stuck" usually happens at the same place: trying to figure out how they feel, what they want, and how to communicate it. 

Many of us dream up scenarios of what love could look and feel like. Some of us may have a goal or intended outcome in mind around our "perfect" partner, or the ideal kind of relationship to have with a parent, sibling, child, etc. 

So what stops us from creating all of that right now? 

I don't have a definitive answer, however, I can say I've observed a few things that get in the way:

  • Living in a place of fear and/or not acknowledging underlying fears that operate in the background

  • Lack of clarity/communication about one's needs (foundational needs that would have one feeling safe)

  • Lack of clarity around desires and/or a sole focus on desire as the "answer to everything"

  • Lack of awareness around assumptions being made about self, other, and the relationship 

If you know me at all, then you might know that I LOVE providing easy formats and templates for people to use. So, ya ready? Here it is:

  • Fears

  • Needs

  • Desires

  • Assumptions 

I've shared this with countless people as an easy way to journal/reflect on a particular scenario/relationship. 

  • What is it you fear? (list them all out and be really honest)!

  • What is it you need? (what are your basic needs that must be met in order for the relationship to thrive)?

  • What are you desires? (what would you like to create in the relationship)?

  • What are your assumptions? (what assumptions might you have about yourself, the other, the relationship, i.e. what do you think you already have the answer to without ever having asked the question)?

That's it! Simple, right?! 

Not only can this format help you create clarity, it can also provide a clear message that you're able to share with others without going off on tangents about past events, self-deprecation, blame, etc. 

I invite you to give it try. You may decide to keep the information to yourself, you may decide to share it. Whatever you choose, I hope that it supports you in creating more workability and joy in your relationships.