Oh hey beautiful!
I don't know about you, but these summer vibes have me smiling from ear to ear!
The past week has been nothing short of the twilight zone. In fact, my life has felt like I've been hopping from one alternate dimension to the next; it's pretty groovy. I'm gonna tell you how you can create your own substance-free psychedelic trip. Ya ready?!
It all has to do with how we CHOOSE to relate to others. That's right, how we relate to and perceive others is our CHOICE.
Let's take one of the deepest, most complex dynamics: the parent-child relationship. In this case, I'm referring to the relationship between my mother and I.
Now, if any of you know my mom, then you know (or may perceive her to be) a real character, the life of the party, a "hoot and a half..." Yes, I view her this way too. I also view her as "my mother," which comes with all of it's own created meaning, like: the woman who knows how to push my buttons and whose buttons I know how to push, the woman that always asks questions about my financial status, the woman who loves and cares for me deeply, even if I choose to think otherwise, and on and on.
Take a moment to consider how you view your parents or someone with whom you have a close relationship. What things do you think you already know about how this person is?
I thought I knew a lot of things about how my mom "is." I'd make statements in my head like "Ugh. That's just the way she is," or "she always does that," or "I know she'll say this..."
While she may have confirmed my beliefs of her on some occasions, having such stuck beliefs about my mom wasn't allowing me to view her as someone other than "my mother," which is a character I cast for her with predetermined lines, characteristics, qualities, etc.
Who I wasn't seeing her as was a woman, with her own life: her own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and experiences.
It was a recent trip to Maine with mom and some awesome friends that opened up a whole new way of relating. It was on this trip that I got to take a step back from viewing my mother as my mother and seeing her as an individual with hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears, concerns - some separate from and some related to me.
In these moments, I realized that I get to CHOOSE how I view my mother, what I see in her, what kinds of things I listen for when she speaks, how I describe her, how I interact with her, and I perceive she feels about me.
That weekend, I chose to feel her deep, relentless, undying, love for me. It was in that choice that had me feeling connected to my mom in a way I'd never felt connected before.
I'm having emotional response as I type this now. What is this new place?! I'm still sitting in the same apartment, typing this email on the same laptop, looking the same as I did yesterday...yet, it also feels as if I've stepped into an entirely new world; that's the psychedelic nature of this.
I did nothing except choose to see to my mom in a different way. In doing so, I opened a new realm of possibility for how she and I relate to one another.
Is there someone in your life that you'd like to perceive differently, such that this new perception could lead to a deepening of intimacy, love, and connection?
Yeah. All the feels. Get in here and give me a (virtual) hug! ️
Oh hey beautiful!