Is it wrong to...?

I'm coming to you inspired, refreshed, and tan as heck on this Monday! 😄

I just returned from a 5-day wellness retreat for women entrepreneurs (WE), thanks to my coach, Paulina Lopez, founder of the Business of WE

During this retreat, I had the great pleasure and honor to facilitate beachfront sessions each morning, which incorporated meditation, breath work, yoga, and you guessed it: deep work around intimacy!

I got to witness women connect to parts of themselves that they've be longing to remember. I got to hold space for women to have massive breakthroughs, and I got to participate in conversation that allowed women to create clear action steps so they can stay accountable for their growth in these areas. I also got to be one of these women. ❤️ 

While I could share the stories of countless impactful conversations, one really stood out to me. 

One woman asked: "Lee, is it wrong that when I fantasize, I think about being with two men other than my husband?" My immediate question back was: "At the same time?!" (I was secretly hoping she'd say yes :p). 

After I reeled myself in and we had a good laugh, I sat with her question. Some time later, I said to her: "Tell me what you mean by wrong?" She immediately saw where I was going with this. I shared my belief that there is no "right" or "wrong," there's only what feels "in alignment" or "out of alignment." (Note:  In this conversation, I am not addressing the agreement that she and her husband made around their marriage, I'm simply asking questions about what feels internally aligned for her). 

I then said, what if we replace your original question with "Do I feel pleasure when I have this thought?" or "Do I feel joy when I have this thought?" Her face lit up with realization and an already knowing of her answer. 

As I felt this resonance in her, she acknowledged that our natural state as humans is a state of bliss. Our bodies will naturally seek pleasure, bliss, happiness and joy, even though we've been conditioned to pile on the fear and doubt. 

I shared that the feeling of authentic joy is the path led by our hearts. Following this feeling gives us information about who we are at our core. 

Many times, we find ourselves doing things because "we should be" or because "so and so is doing it" or because "we're at the age to..." blah blah blah. 

Yet, we already have the answers to the questions we seek around what will have us fulfilling our highest, truest purpose. 

Sure, the answers our hearts have for us may not be the "popular" ones all the time, yet, I suspect that they will be the ones that have us feeling the happiest and most fulfilled. 

With that, I ask YOU, beautiful person reading this email: 

  • Where in your life have you created judgement: a "right/wrong" or "should/shouldn't" scenario?

  • Have you been asking questions like: "what brings me most joy?"

  • What kinds of signs has your body given you about the dreams/desires you've put on layaway?

  • What, if anything, has slowed you down or stopped you from taking action on the things you know bring you most joy? 

These questions surely ain't for the faint of heart, yet, they're necessary for following your heart.