I really wish you could hear the tone in my head when I create some of these posts, especially this one. (Hint: it's very playful).
I realize that some of my messaging may strike a chord...good!
If it does, I invite you to sit with that feeling.
If it doesn't, maybe you're just as whacky as I am. 😛
Either way, I hope these posts inspire some thought, feeling, and a good laugh.
This past week, I've been pondering on letting things be what they are, both in general, and in relationship.
Man oh man, has life been so much more easeful!
It's this inquiry that inspired the subject for this post: "Chill, mother*cker. Let that sh*t go!"
In the past week, I've felt: joyful, fearful, excited, vulnerable, energetic, frustrated, powerful, stressed, optimistic...just to name a few.
Humor me for a second. Think back on the past week. What are some of the emotions you felt? (Refer to this handy dandy emotion wheel for ideas).
How often do you find dissatisfaction in feeling a certain way, then try to turn that feeling into something else, something it's not?
It's okay if the answer is "always" or "often." That was the answer for me too.
When I realized I could let fear be what it is: fear, it freed me up to see the choice I have in how I want to relate to said feelings of fear. We can create this kind of acceptance with any emotion.
In other words, instead of feeling fear, not liking it, and forcing it to play "dress up," attempting to make it over into something else (i.e. courage, joy, etc.), I ask myself what I want to do with this feeling: Do I want to explore it? Do I want to feel it more deeply? Do I want to allow it to diffuse? Something else?
The nuance here is in acknowledging what emotions are coming up and getting curious about them. Sometimes they change form all on their own!
For example, I experienced feelings of vulnerability in a recent interaction. Shortly after pulling away from the person because I felt some degree discomfort in the thought of really being seen, I said: "Hey I'm feeling vulnerable right now, I just want to acknowledge that."
All I did was state what was so for me. I didn't try to turn my feelings into something else or over explain why they were there. The feelings got to be what they were. As a result, I got to build intimacy with myself and this other person. And, low and behold, the feeling of discomfort continued for a bit, then diffused.
The point I'm trying to make is that this is possible for you, too! But maybe you already knew this?!
The language is simple. "I'm feeling ______." or "I'm experiencing _____."
Say the words and see what happens. There's nothing else to do and no more effort needed.
Then of course contact me and let me know how it went! 😛